Pigeonholes

In the middle of surviving a pandemic, I was recently reminded about something that is near and dear to my heart and soul.

I stumbled upon a pigeonhole the other day. No, no. Not a hole that houses flying rats; but actually, a stereotype, or what I like to call, the List of Things People Expect From Me Because I Happen to Have a Vagina.

Here’s the thing. Can we stop teaching our young ones that the end all be all of your life is to get married, buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 children, and also rescue a dog? (The dog rescuing part doesn’t really bug me, but how in the heck am I supposed to make 2.5 children?)

I would like to place a caveat on this particular Mini Tale. I don’t think that people who have done these things are bad humans. On the contrary, I know several lovely humans who have done the things on that list (and more) who are happy… exhausted, maybe… but happy.

What I would like to point out is that the List of Things People Expect From Me Because I Happen to Have a Vagina is not a hard and fast to do list!

I happen to be a happy, single, childless 35-year-old woman.

WHAAAAAAAT!

Yes, my friends and readership. We exist. We are kind. We are smart. We are important.

And we don’t particularly enjoy it when people decide that “wow, you need a man or a woman in your life.” For example, the other day, I made an Instagram for my cat. Ridiculous? Yes. Did I want to do it to bring me joy? Yes. Does this mean that I am lonely and otherwise incapable of finding happiness? No. Some of my very well-meaning coworkers were like, “oh, let’s set Maryann up with another human.” Where I appreciate the gesture, I also feel the need to stomp my foot and say, “If I wanted another human, I would go find another human.” Mayhap I am just waiting to stumble onto the RIGHT human?

I also saw an Instagram post that said, “I am not dating. I am auditioning a husband.” This post probably means something different to whomever reads it. I read it, and I go *stomp stomp*. Why? Because dating should be a way to meet new humans without putting extra LIFELONG pressure on to a situation. If you see me on a date, does that mean I am shopping for a life partner? No. That could mean that I just wanted to spend some time with another human in a romantic fashion.

In closing, to my human friends, give yourself a hug, and don’t feel like you have to check off all the boxes on the List of Things People Expect From Me Because I Happen to Have a Vagina. To my pet friends, go follow my cat on Instagram.